


The Straw that Broke the Steven’s Back

by holdyourbreathfornow



Series: Steven Universe Gets a Therapist [1]
Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Infected injuries, Moderately graphic description of an infection, Sickness, Square Mom is good Mom, Steven admits he needs professional help, Steven’s having a rough day, Talking About Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 00:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21310762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdyourbreathfornow/pseuds/holdyourbreathfornow
Summary: Steven has scars, both old and new.  As soon as the burn Spinel gave him heals, it’ll be one more to add to the list.The only problem is it’s not healing.
Relationships: Steven Universe & Everyone
Series: Steven Universe Gets a Therapist [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536322
Comments: 24
Kudos: 206





	The Straw that Broke the Steven’s Back

He’s not sure if his arm will ever really heal. It’s been a week since Spinel left with the Diamonds and the skin is still tender and raw. Steven keeps meaning to put a bandage on it or heal it or something, but he… Doesn’t. He had healed his nose as soon as he’d gotten his powers back, but he hadn’t remembered the burn on his arm in the face of Spinel trying to kill him.

It’s almost comforting, in a weird way. This little reminder of what happened to him. It matches the set of scars around his gem, the jagged points where White’s fingernails had dug in too hard, had drawn blood and tears.

There are plenty of other scars littered over his body as well, all of them little reminders of what he’s gone through, of how he’s gotten better than he was.

And all of them easily hidden beneath a shirt and jacket.

Steven wakes up too early. The sun hasn’t risen yet and he lies in bed, staring through the glass at the stars twinkling overhead. He wonders if he can see Homeworld from here. If they can see him. He thinks about this for a moment longer… And then he gets up.

The boy wanders down to the kitchen and collapses on one of the bar stools waiting for him at the counter. He’s exhausted. But he can’t sleep. His arm hurts sometimes, and he can almost imagine the burn on it pulsing in time with his heart. 

The sink starts running suddenly and Steven blinks. He’s gone from sitting at the counter to standing over the sink, slowly soaking a rag in cold water. Steven jolts and the washcloth drops into the sink, spreading out and floating on top of the shallow layer of water collecting.

How long has he been standing here? It’s still dark out when he frantically glances out of the window, but the sky has gone from an inky navy blue, to the lavender purple of the early morning. Pearl will probably be emerging from her room to make breakfast soon. 

Steven fishes the cloth out of the water and wraps it around the burn on his arm. He sets the wrapped arm on the counter and pulls one of the drawers open. He rummages around in it until he finds a safety pin, which he uses to secure the towel. 

Steven goes back up to his room and gets his jacket on, reemerging just as the Temple door opens and Pearl steps out, fixing her own jacket on as well.

“Oh! Good morning, Steven! You’re up rather early.”

“Too excited to start another day.” He lies with a smile on his face and Pearl laughs. 

“Well, an excitable Steven always makes my day more interesting. Any ideas on what we should cook for breakfast?”

“Ooh, how about-”

He blinks and suddenly he’s in New Homeworld. His jacket is fastened up to his neck and he stands between Lapis and Peridot as they argue about some new feature of the mini town.

“-Pancakes?” He finishes his sentence and shakes his head. Lapis and Peridot pause in their arguing and turn to him, twin expressions of confusion clear on their faces.

“What does water pressure in a drought have to do with pancakes, Steven?” Peridot asks and Steven blinks for a second, trying to figure out how to formulate exactly what’s going on.

“He’s saying the water pressure will crush the pipes as flat as pancakes!” Lapis interjects and the two are off again. Bismuth strolls up and plops one giant hand down onto Steven’s mess of curls.

“What are the two of them arguing about now?”

“I genuinely don’t know.”

His first instinct is to call his dad, second to call Connie. But she’s at a remedial space camp, and he’s setting up the next show for Sadie and the Suspects, so Steven heads to the beach instead. He blinks and the sun’s on the horizon, but he’s on the beach still, so he hopes he didn’t miss anything major. 

Kicking his sandals off, Steven wades into the water, glancing down to watch tiny fish nibble at his toes.

“Do any of you know what’s happening to me?” He asks them and crouches down, only succeeding in scaring them away. He sighs and straightens back up. 

It’s the middle of summer and a little warm, so Steven takes his jacket off, tossing it onto the sand next to his sandals, which he’s sure Pearl will scold him about later. If he actually remembers it.

He glances down at the bandage on his arm, which is… Oddly discolored from the pristine white Pearl usually cleans them to. It’s a sickly yellow and Steven wrinkles his nose. 

“That’s gross.” He mutters under his breath, unclipping the safety pin and unraveling the towel. What he sees under it almost makes him gag, though it’s very close. 

The burn is swollen, covered in a translucent scab that shows through to pus oozing out slowly from under it. There’s also a little red mixed in there, which Steven feels almost certain is blood.

He staggers and falls to a sitting position, the waves pushing at his stomach as he fights off the sudden wave of lightheadedness. Steven puts his head in his hands to block out the light of the sun reflecting off the water, and so doesn’t notice when Lion steps through a portal. At least, he doesn’t notice until Lion’s giant wet nose pushes at his face and the animal’s scratchy tongue licks at the beads of sweat on Steven’s forehead.

“Something’s wrong, Lion.” Steven tells his pet, reaching up to pat clumsily at Lion, and takes comfort in the rumbling of Lion’s gentle growl as he pushes even closer to Steven. “Ow, Lion, not so- WHOA!” Lion scoops Steven up and onto his back before taking off. Steven’s stomach lurches unpleasantly and he gags again, burying his face in the soft waves of Lion’s mane. He looks up and sees the temple growing closer from a long ways away. “Thanks, buddy.” Steven mutters, slipping down a little.

Lion growls softly and runs a bit faster.

-

Greg and Connie are at the Temple for dinner and Connie’s helping Pearl whip up some spaghetti while Greg and Amethyst teach Garnet how to play poker while also forbidding her from cheating with future vision.

“This is nice.” Pearl tells Connie, and then she adopts an expression of fake seriousness. “But this is also a perfect time to ask if you’ve been keeping up with your sword lessons, young lady.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Connie salutes with the fork she was using and sends a noodle flying across the room. Amethyst stretches her neck out and catches it, chewing thoughtfully as her neck shrinks back to normal length.

“Still needs more time, P!”

“Obviously, Amethyst. You didn’t have to eat it, did you?” Pearl sighs and shakes her head fondly.

“So when is Shtu-ball getting home?” Greg asks and almost everyone turns to Garnet, Pearl still bent over her pot. Garnet’s expression doesn’t change but suddenly she sits up a little straighter. 

“Amethyst, get a bucket. Pearl, first aid kit. Greg, move.”

The three rush to do so just as a swirling pink portal blooms to life in the middle of the living room, Lion leaping through with Steven curled up on his back. Garnet catches Steven just as he slumps off and Lion pads over to Connie, grumbling quietly.

“What’s wrong with him, Garnet?” Pearl asks, her grip on the first aid kit white knuckled, and Garnet sets Steven on the couch, snagging the blanket that’s draped over the back of the couch and covering Steven with it, carefully brushing his hair back from his forehead.

“He’s burning up. Pearl-”

“Wet cloth.”

“Can you see if he’s sick?” Amethyst asks, still holding the bucket, and Garnet snatches it from the shorter gem, setting it next to the couch just as Steven rolls over and vomits into it. The fusion shushes comfortingly and snags a hairband from the table, easily pulling Steven’s hair back from his face. 

As soon as he finishes and collapses back onto the couch, Garnet pushes the blanket down and grabs Steven’s arm. She pushes the pink cloth down and Connie claps a hand over her mouth.

The burn on Steven’s arm is slowly oozing pus and he whimpers when Garnet pulls the makeshift bandage he’d been using away.

“Isn’t that… Wasn’t that from the biopoison Spinel’s injector was using?” Pearl asks, walking over and handing a waiting Garnet the first aid kit.

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t he say it was infected?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Why didn’t he heal it?”

“I don’t know.”

“And-”

“Before you ask me another question that I don’t know the answer to, why don’t you help me get Steven into bed?” Garnet quips and stands, picking Steven up, still wrapped in the blanket. His eyes are half-open, but they’re fever-glazed and far off anyway.

“Y-yes, of course. Amethyst, will you clean that bucket out, please?”

“Sure.” Amethyst encloses the bucket in a bubble and carries it into the kitchen. Connie follows Garnet and Pearl upstairs. She stands in the doorway, watching as Pearl makes a nest of pillows and Garnet carefully lowers Steven into it. 

The boy whimpers and curls his hands a little tighter into the fabric of Garnet’s jumpsuit. She settles onto one side of the bed as Pearl settles onto the other. Pearl gently grabs Steven’s arm and starts bandaging his burn as Garnet holds onto Steven’s hand and starts brushing through Steven’s hair with her fingers.

“I’m here, Steven.”

“Garnet…” Steven whines and his fingers curl a little tighter.

“Is he dreaming about something?” Connie asks and Pearl sighs.

“Well, one of the symptoms of a human fever is delirium, which is, I fear, exactly what this is.”

“How long will it last?” Garnet asks, still combing her fingers through Steven’s hair, and Pearl shakes her head helplessly.

“There’s no definite way to tell.” Pearl snaps the first aid kit shut and stands, walking over to Connie. “Come along, Connie. We’ll get you home.”

“Can I…” Connie hesitates, screwing her courage to the sticking place, before continuing. “Can I stay the night and sleep on the couch?”

“I’ll call your mother, but I doubt she’ll say no.” Pearl smiles and drops a hand onto Connie’s shoulder. “You’re a good friend, Connie.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Connie feels her face warm and she looks down, scuffing at the ground with her foot. 

“Let’s go find you some pajamas.”

Steven wakes up screaming, and Connie’s the first one into the room, Pearl and Garnet both having gone to the doctor in Empire City to get some medicine for him.

“Steven!” She leaps up onto the bed and leans over him. He’s writhing wildly, his screams having been replaced by groans of pain. Sweat causes his hair to cling to his forehead and Connie carefully brushes it away, her friend calming slightly at her touch.

“Connie…”

“Sh, it’s okay. I’m right here, Steven.”

“Where’s… Where’s my-” His hand comes up to hover over his stomach and Connie feels the blood drain out of her face. He thinks they’re back in White Diamond’s head, right after his pseudo great grandmother ripped his gem out of his stomach.

“No, no, you’re okay, Steven.” She hesitates, but Steven’s shirt is pretty much soaked with sweat and he’ll have to change it at some point anyway. So she tugs Steven’s shirt off, grabs his unbandaged arm, and helps him spread his fingers over the gem in his stomach. “See? You’re you, both parts.”

“But it still hurts.” Steven whines and Connie nods in sympathy.

“That’s because you’re sick. Your arm got burned, and it got infected. Do you remember that?”

“Spinel… She burned me?” Steven asks and Connie nods. “But… She and I-” He gags suddenly and Connie hauls the bucket onto the bed with them, but he ends up not needing it. “She was so happy to be my friend. We used to play in my garden.”

And it’s officially worse than Connie thought, because those aren’t Steven’s memories he’s recalling. They’re his mom’s.

“No, no, Steven, that was Pink, okay?”

“And I’m Steven Universe.” He giggles deliriously and Connie sighs. At least he isn’t screaming anymore.

“Yeah, you are.”

“Don’t be like Pearl.” He tells her suddenly and Connie has a feeling she’s going to get emotional whiplash real fast.

“Why, Steven?”

“She got stabbed.” Steven reaches out and lays a hand on Connie’s stomach. Tears stand out in his eyes and Connie reaches down, lacing their fingers together.

“But she’s fine now, isn’t she? And I’m fine too. I promise.”

“It’s my fault.”

“What is?”

“Everything! If I hadn’t left Homeworld, faked my death, caused so many to get hurt-”

“Steven!” Connie’s a bit desperate now, in the face of what Steven’s saying to her. She realizes that maybe he’s been bottling all of this up, and speaking from experience, she knows how unhealthy that is. “Steven, that wasn’t you, that was your mom!”

“Everyone says I’m my mom.” Steven tells her. “So everything she did that was bad, means I did something bad.” 

“Well, that’s just not true.” Connie startles and glances up. Amethyst is leaning against the doorframe and looks almost angry with Steven, who grins when he sees her. “Steve-o, you’re not your mom, either Rose or Pink. You’re better than either of them ever were because you’re fixing what they left behind.” She shifts into a cat and climbs onto the bed, curling on top of Steven and purring.

“Promise?” He asks, already starting to fall back asleep as he pets Amethyst, and she leans forward to lick his cheek.

“Promise, dude.” He nods and then drops off to sleep, his head resting in Connie’s lap and his hands buried in Amethyst’s fur. “Well, that’s not good.” Amethyst sighs and Connie can’t do anything except nod in agreement.

“We’ll talk about it with the others when they get back.”

-

Steven blinks awake and squints in the light of the sun shining through his window. He sits up and looks around. He’s in his room, and his arm doesn’t hurt like it did. He looks down at it and winces. It’s wrapped in thick bandages and he can’t even bend it when he tries to. Someone else wrapped it, which means that as soon as he gets up, there’s going to be someone waiting to have a serious conversation.

...Maybe he can crawl out of the window. 

But if he does that, then he’ll  definitely be in trouble. Steven sighs and rolls out of bed, changing out of his sweaty PJs and grabbing a normal outfit out of his closet, foregoing his jacket to avoid jostling the bandages on his arm. Looking at himself in the mirror, Steven winces. His hair is practically soaked with sweat and his nose wrinkles with disgust.

“Get a shower.” He tells his reflection. “Then go downstairs for the big emotional conversation you know is coming.” Steven nods and carefully wraps his bandages in a plastic bag already on the counter (Pearl had obviously thought ahead) before hopping into the shower.

Eventually he can’t busy himself with anything else and has to head down. At first glance, the kitchen is empty and Steven sighs with relief. He heads to the fridge and grabs the stuff to make a sandwich out of it, before closing the door and dropping his supplies on the counter.

“He awakes.” Steven jolts and knocks the glass jar of mustard off the counter. Garnet must have been using her future vision because she catches it easily from where she’s standing behind Steven. The fusion sets the jar on the counter and pushes Steven down onto one of the barstools while she starts making his sandwich.

“H-hi, Garnet.” Steven chuckles.

“How are you feeling?” She asks and if her visor wasn’t on, Steven has a gut feeling she’d be looking pointedly at his bandaged arm he has resting on the counter.

“A lot better than I did yesterday.” The joke falls flat and Steven sighs. “Thanks, Garnet.”

“You should’ve said something sooner. Infections are dangerous enough for humans, let alone you.” She sets a plate down in front of him and he starts slowly eating his sandwich.

“I know.”

“You’re not in trouble.” Garnet says suddenly and Steven looks up just in time to watch her take her visor off and rub at her eyes. “Steven, we were worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“You weren’t last night.” Garnet tells him. “All these nightmares and talking in your sleep. Some of the things you said…” She blinks rapidly a few times before slipping her visor back into place. “Steven, it sounded like you had a lot on your mind.”

“What was I talking about?” Steven asks, trying to deflect. Garnet sighs.

“Things I’m sure a lot of us hadn’t heard before. What happened with Bismuth, Homeworld, Lars…” She hesitates and comes around the counter, easily lifting Steven into her arms and cradling him gently. He squeaks in surprise but goes lax when he feels her tears dripping down onto his face. “Oh, Steven-”

“I’m okay.” He tells her. Steven reaches up and gently pulls her visor off. Garnet’s three teary eyes stare back at him and he starts wiping at her tears. 

“Are you?” She asks and then she shakes her head. “How? You’ve been through so many horrible things and you come out smiling.”

“I guess I’m just special that way!” He laughs. But he’s hesitating too and finally he sighs deeply and squirms his way out of Garnet’s arms. She sets him down on his feet. “I… I still have nightmares sometimes.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Garnet blurts out suddenly and Steven flinches, folding his arms against himself as he takes a half step backwards. 

“I-” He sniffs and tears well up in the corners of his eyes. “I didn’t want to be a burden. We always had to save the world, or someone else, or-”

“Oh.” Carefully, Garnet takes a step closer and when Steven doesn’t flinch again, she holds him by the elbow with one hand while cupping his face with the other. “Oh, Steven, no.” He chokes on a sob and the two of them sink to their knees on the hardwood floor, the stool Steven was sitting on rocking precariously as Garnet knocks into it. “You have never been a burden. You-” She pauses and nudges his face up until the two of them lock eyes.

“You, Steven Quartz Pink Demayo Universe, or whatever you want your name to be-” He laughs wetly at this, “-You are the greatest thing this galaxy has ever seen. You didn’t just save us, you didn’t just save this world, you saved the universe.” She smiles, but at this point both of them are sniffling, crying messes. It doesn’t make the smile any less genuine, though.

“Now let us save you.” Slowly, Garnet stands and takes both of Steven’s hands in hers. He looks at them and then up at her. He inhales deeply one time, and then he follows her lead, standing and burrowing himself into her arms. 

“Okay. I think I need saving.”


End file.
